The core of your problem

Feel for a moment inside your heart that this love is available to you now, not at a later time when you are farther advanced on the path. Love belongs to the now moment; it is fully accepting of the imperfect, of what is in progress, of what is separated. You do not have to present yourself differently to the eyes of love; let the flow of love come to you as you are, right now.

In almost all people is a thought that you must earn love, that you have to work toward changing yourself in order to be worthy of love. There is a deep shame in most of you that breeds unworthiness: you feel you need to apologize, to justify yourself. It is an attitude that many of you have. At the same time, there is such longing for love, for relaxation, and for the freedom to be who you are. And that means you find yourself in a continual battle with life.

I ask you to identify that voice in yourself that criticizes and exhorts you to improve yourself, comments about how you look and what you feel, think, and do. There is a sharp voice somewhere inside you, a relentless inner critic. Try to observe that energy that is in yourself. You might see it as a face or a form, a color or a shape – whatever you see is okay.

Essentially this is the voice of fear in you: the fear of failure, of not being good enough; the fear of being abandoned. That fear is there in everyone. You became separated from the whole – at least that is how it felt – when you, as an individual soul, left on your way into the unknown. In that moment of separation, which was essentially the birth of the soul, there was distress caused by an alienation from Home, from the Source out of which you originated. That alienation, that feeling of being lost, was necessary, because it forced you to begin your search; you were, so to say, “thrown into the deep end”. For the first time, there was anxiety in your consciousness, and you went looking for wholeness.

On this journey, there emerged a sense of unworthiness. It has been a long journey in which fear, power, and dependence played large roles. If you do not feel whole inside, if you do not know love from within, you go in search of nurturing from external things in the form of recognition and love from others. That can become distorted into a need for power, a need to rule over others so that you get what you need energetically and emotionally. And so you see people seeking emotional nurturing from others in order to fill the emptiness inside themselves. They search for it in relationships between partners, in work situations, everywhere. There is a sense of unworthiness that lies at the bottom of many of their actions.

If you recognize that need in yourself, then the solution lies close by. But as long as you are in any way still seeking nurturing in external energies, you stay intent on the questions: “How should I be in my relationships? How should I be with my family? How should I be in my work?” Those appear to be important questions, but at their core, it is about the relationship with yourself and the feeling of deep self-esteem and love that you have for yourself. There lies the key.

I ask you now to descend energetically with your attention and awareness into your abdomen. Completely fill your abdominal cavity with pure awareness. Descend and feel how your awareness flows like fresh, clear water into your abdomen. Be present there and see a child who in one way or another feels unworthy and not good enough to deserve love. Go to this child, reach out and take its hand – this is your child. You give it strength; you bring life to it by your presence and faithfulness.

When you live your life by trying to nurture yourself with the energies of others – because of an inner emptiness – you distort yourself into being what you are not, which does an injustice to yourself. You are not being really true to yourself when you try to adapt to the expectations and requirements of others, lest you not get the love you crave. But doing that causes your inner child to suffer because it wants to be itself, spontaneous and natural.

It requires a lot of courage to be able to go inward and to feel the heart of the problem: your own sense of unworthiness. Time and again you are encouraged to do so. Every crisis in your life is the result of what lies at the bottom of the problem. But you do not have to solve it all at once. The important thing is to be aware that unworthiness lies at the bottom of the problem – this deeply rooted unworthiness – along with the key to its solution: love for yourself.

Feel the light that is here: the light of yourself and everything that is here in this space. Allow this light to radiate into your abdomen and your inner child; you are worthy of receiving it. You are an inalienable part of Creation and as such you will be loved and protected and carried by a greater whole.

I greet you all.

© Pamela Kribbe
www.jeshua.net